Tag Archives: baseball

Baseball’s scoundrels

With the recent arrival of a collection of baseball history books, I’ve been doing some reading. It does occur to me that of all the colorful creatures who have inhabited the world of baseball, some are honored whom I believe should not be–at least not without a fair presentation of their dark sides.

A bit about nuance, here. We live in a land ruled by single-bit binary logic: ours good, theirs bad; him demon, her saint; if you’re not for me, you’re against me (probably the stupidest of them all), etc. We developed greyscale and color photography, then forgot how to apply the concepts to life. Fact: The greatest genius almost surely has areas where they are stupid, and the biggest moron likely has some form of genius. I do believe that absolutes exist, but that they are the minority. I have a relative by marriage who takes it too far; I describe them as likely to protest that Hitler liked his dog and Jimmy Carter was a lousy president.

In baseball, as in life, qualities can be mixed. A player could do some horribly racist things, yet do some admirably anti-racist things. Is he a scoundrel? What percentage scoundrel makes a Scoundrel?

Labels are difficult, and rarely come without qualifiers. Describing human beings is messy. You can never quite scrape or razor off that little imperfection in the description. There is much of a person’s life we never know, and we have to consider the accuracy of what we think we do know.

This is why historians are allowed to continue as we are. While some rather famous ones aren’t so trustworthy, many do good work. Most of them do far better than (for example) that stupid book about Rudolf Hess being replaced at Nuremberg by a double, the real one being supposedly killed in a flying boat accident over Scotland. (Because you know that what the British really wanted to do with Hess is take him for a ride in a flying boat, and because it’s really plausible to find an actor willing to behave like an imbecile at a trial and then do life in prison.)

With that in mind…

Anson, Adrian “Cap”: player 1871-1897,  1b-3b, lifetime batting average .334, first to 3000 hits.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Bigotry with a capital B.

Cap Anson was one of the professional game’s first superstars, with outsize influence on outcomes. A virulent racist, he used his influence to establish an informal but lasting color bar in professional baseball. If one believes in institutionalized racism as one of the most toxic manifestations of the general racism concept–which I do, because it has a lot to do with one’s power to oppress–his impact shows prominently. There were surely plenty of lifetime sub-.200 hitters as bigoted or worse, but that doesn’t get anyone major influence in baseball.

Why one might demur: Most of the country has always been racist, and a good percentage still is–including some of the most influential figures in the land. Why single out Anson when bigotry was the  white social norm? Any number of other players, mostly less prominent, might have taken similar stances.

Chapman, Ben: player 1930-1946, of, lifetime batting average .302; managed 1945-48.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Anson would have been proud of him.

In 1947, of all the opposing teams that rained bigotry down on Jackie Robinson, Chapman’s Phillies were the worst and he was their worst. He’d always been a bad bench jockey, but this extension of it got him a sordid place in baseball history. It didn’t help that he’d always been a source of anti-Semitic haterade, so much so that as a Yankee player, New Yorkers filed a petition recommending that the team get rid of him. It takes a special kind of stupidity and bigotry–as well as pure evil–to thus alienate a key fan demographic.

And no, those I am singling out here for their racism were not necessarily unrepresentative of the times. Some were just more virulent, and/or in more of a position to do harm by their racism. They’re going to get it.

Why one might demur: I can’t think of a valid reason. Chapman went as far out of his way as possible to strangle integration and encouraged others to do the same. I have read that he expressed regrets later in life, but so have a number of scoundrels. He still tried to excuse it as just heckling, and that’s not much of a reform. Not feeling it–and none of it undid the harm he caused.

Chase, Hal: player 1905-1919, 1b, lifetime batting average .291, one of the best-fielding first basemen of his era.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Because, by all accounts, Hal Chase never met a game he wouldn’t throw.

It’s not that there’s hard and fast proof that he bet on games, or threw them; it’s that he was so often noticed not giving his best effort, and there were so many rumors that he could be reached, that it’s difficult to imagine there being no truth to any of it–especially as, in later years, he expressed regret for having bet on baseball.

Why one might demur: What percentage of the greatest athletes of the time were implicated or fell under reasonable suspicion, at one time or another, in gambling or game-fixing scandals? The list is longer than you might think, and it includes…

Cobb, Ty: player 1905-1928, cf-rf, all-time highest lifetime batting average of .366; one of the all-time greats.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Overall unpleasantness. One can tell this by the fact that when the lifetime MLB batting champ died, wealthy, paranoid, and cranky, only three of the ~150 in attendance were from MLB.

Let’s see. Prone to sudden violence, even against teammates and fans. Irascible at the best of times. Game based partly on intimidation (one can’t take anything away from the performance itself). Enough reports of virulent racist behavior that there is a whole movement to argue against that image. And yeah, late in his career, at least strongly suspected of the occasional thrown game; enough that he got more or less dumped by his team late in his career. If Kenesaw Landis, a far greater scoundrel in my opinion, had not wanted to keep his own image as savior intact–if he’d handled Cobb and Tris Speaker the way he’d handled the Black Sox–seems to me quite probable Cobb would have been banned.

Why one might demur: While it’s pretty hard to hose off all the incidents that testify to his racism, there’s also evidence that he didn’t shy away from helping black people over the course of his lifetime. It’s also true that he came up during the nadir of American post-Civil War race relations, in which the second KKK rose and black Americans were often targets for persecution, gratuitous violence, and were in the process of being driven out of many places in the North and West; it was a time where racism was the norm and the first big movie blockbuster celebrated bigotry. He said supportive things about civil rights later in life. As for gambling and throwing big league baseball games, there was a great deal of that in the first thirty years of the 20th century. It’s fair to say that Cobb was so unpopular and vindictive that it was easier to believe accusations against him than it might have against a well-liked player.

After doing some more reading about Cobb, I have a sense that his racism was not the virulent “enslave ’em all” kind, but the paternalistic “as long as they keep their place” sort. He was known to be kind to some black people, but to go into psychotic rage if anyone suggested he might be part black, or if a black person stood up to him. When one challenged his fundamental sense of entitlement, he is known to have lost his control multiple times. It’s certainly racist, but it’s a different kind than that of a Bobby Shelton. I leave it to the reader to decide which sort–if either–is worse.

Comiskey, Charles “Commy”: player 1882-1894, 1b (competent but unremarkable); manager over same span; owner 1901-31 (Chicago White Sox).

Why I consider him a scoundrel: To my mind, the true villain of the Black Sox Scandal.

There’s abundant evidence (thanks to meeting notes found in old files) that Commy knew the 1919 Series was dirty and kept it quiet–most likely due to a desire to keep the big gate receipts going even if his team was losing (and partly in the tank). A notorious cheapskate, he created the conditions by which a bunch of undereducated ballplayers might feel so unrewarded that some might listen to a teammate’s pitch to throw a Series. And when the heat came down, he took complete advantage of the bumptious naïveté of players over whose careers he had feudal authority given the reserve clause–he offered them “legal representation” in the form of Alfred Austrian, his own lawyer, who would above all guard Comiskey’s interests above that of the players.

Comiskey was a perfect example of the rich major offender exonerated while the commoners are railroaded into draconian punishment. To my mind, having him in the HOF is a disgrace, and he was everything that was and is wrong with a corporatist system that cares nothing for people except the profit that might be wrung from them.

Why one might demur: Well, let’s think about this. I suppose he was a builder of the game, at least of sorts. His example is said to have changed the way people played first base. Maybe playing/managing for Chris von der Ahe screwed up his mind. And the usual “everyone was doing it” argument does hold some water here, since most owners of his day were pretty cheap and took full advantage of the reserve clause; the counterpoint, of course, is the same as with Cobb’s vicious play and racism, namely that if it was typical of the times, what level of awful does it mean to stand out for bad behaviors? The natural assumption is that there was garden-variety bad, and especially awful.

Durocher, Leo “the Lip”: player 1925-45, ss (great field minimal hit), coach or manager 1939-73 off and on), four-time World Series champion.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Not sure anyone did not.

Let’s see. Endless riding of opponents. Credibly suspected of petty theft in clubhouse. Credibly suspected of various hustles related to cards and pool. Lived way beyond his means, owing often and owing big. So consistently abusive toward umpires that he was ejected as manager an even one hundred times (and surely more as a player). Rarely knew when to keep his mouth shut. Four wives, and his advice on how to get laid sounded almost Trumpish in its disrespect for women.

Why one might demur: I know of no case where Durocher ever tried to pretend much nobility. He cared mainly about winning and money, understood well that they went together, and played/managed the scrappiest possible game he could. He was a smart ballplayer and manager, one who could get the best out of most people until the generations passed him by.

Since he was suspended for Jackie Robinson’s first season, it is sometimes forgotten that he faced down the white Dodger players who threatened to demand to be traded rather than play with a black teammate. Inexact quote: ‘I don’t care if he’s black or white, or has stripes like a fuckin’ zebra. I’m the manager of this team, and I say he plays.’ While no one who knows anything about Durocher imagines him a Great Racial Advocate, his own lust for victory did lead him to do the right thing.

Finley, Charles: owner 1960-80; three consecutive World Series victories.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Because he treated his players like property.

It’s not like I lack company. Finley might be considered one of the most buttinsky owners in the history of a game full of teams run by egomaniacs. He had no baseball background (and zero respect for its traditions), and seemed to feel that owning a team should be no different in principle than the insurance company he’d built. His autocratic meddling came up with ideas like pressuring his players to change their first names for promotional purposes, trying to fire a second baseman for making errors, a designated pinch runner with no other baseball abilities, a mule as a mascot (encouraged to drop deuces in front of the other team’s dugout), orange baseballs, and so on.

Players and managers alike hated him. In fact, the only person I’ve ever read about who liked him was one of his daughters, who wrote a biography about him. (He cheated on his wife and was alienated from most of his kids.) Foreshadowing Phil Knight, he had the team wearing loud green and gold uniforms in many combinations that made lots of people hate even looking at them. I think it was pitcher Steve McCatty who commented on Finley’s open-heart surgery that it took eight hours, seven just to find the heart.

Why one might demur: Finley brought aboard plentiful talent on a team that had heretofore been in essence the Yankees’ farm team. I’m not sure how he accomplished that, but the facts speak for themselves, and this at least demands some respect for his understanding of a sport I’m not sure he ever played. He tried things, like Bill Veeck; he rejected the stuffy old-boy owners’ network (also like Veeck); what he lacked was Veeck’s instinct for what was entertaining, as well as Veeck’s ability to care about the people who worked for him.

Freedman, Andrew: owner 1895-1902; no noteworthy positive achievements

Note: this entry refers only to the executive born in 1860 and deceased 1915. No association with any other person by that name is intended, implied, or even contemplated.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Obvious corruption.

Probably the deed that cemented him here is buying and then looting the old Baltimore Orioles–he released their best players so that NL teams could sign them. Especially the New York Giants, which Freedman also owned. I can think of some current politicians in my country who would shrug: “So you still haven’t told me what the problem is.” If people can’t see that, then let them see his arrogance, cantankerity, Tammany hackness, avarice, and mistreatment of players.

Why one might demur: At least he got out of baseball before he could screw it up even worse.

Frick, Ford*: NL president 1934-1951, MLB commissioner 1951-1965.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Pick between the asterisk or his defense of racial exclusion.

High on the list is his special favoritism for Babe Ruth by the infamous asterisk ruling regarding the breaking of the Ruthian single-season home run record set in a 154-game season. As just about everyone with the slightest interest in history knows, Frick insisted that if the record took more than 154 games to beat, the entry in the record books would require an asterisk. The reason this is scoundrelly is that nothing of the kind was contemplated for any other record but Ruth’s, and that was because Frick had been Ruth’s fanboy as a reporter. Baseball seasons had often varied in length for whatever reasons (usually games that could not be made up, or playoff games to decide pennants); none of that had ever brought on an asterisk. Real fairness would be hard, so it wasn’t attempted.

Another reason is that he maintained the fiction that there was nothing preventing MLB teams from signing black players and was not aware of a situation where race had ever been a factor. In the first place, he either had never read about Cap Anson, or he was telling a near-Comiskical lie. In the second, given the success of Negro Leaguers against MLB teams in exhibition games, to pretend that Josh Gibson and Cool Papa Bell had simply not been good enough to help MLB teams was trans-Comiskical.

Why one might demur: Fair’s fair; when Jackie Robinson joined the NL’s Dodgers in 1947, not only did Frick not exercise his office’s power to prevent the signing, he replied to players’ threats of protests with the specter of suspension. Frick also played a key role in establishing the Baseball Hall of Fame, which I still want to visit, so maybe that’s a little personal.

Gandil, Charles “Chick”: player 1910-1919; 1b, .992 lifetime fielding average. (Also lifetime ban from organized baseball.)

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Ringleader of the Black Sox scandal.

Chick Gandil’s play would not have gotten him into the Hall, but it would have assured him a roster slot on any team wanting the game’s best fielding first baseman. A tough, rangy ballplayer who hit well enough and locked down first base, Gandil was a hard worker with a mean streak. He is infamous, and was banned from baseball, for his role as  a ringleader of the Black Sox scandal. While one understands the White Sox players feeling financially unappreciated by owner Comiskey, plotting to throw the Series was not the appropriate way to protest.

The Cincinnati Reds’ winners’ shares were $5207.07 each, so the starting calculus would be why the eight White Sox players involved would not simply play their guts out for that enormous sum rather than risking it all for more by dealing with crooks. Supposedly, the total on offer was $100K to be divided among the conspirators; if divided evenly, that’d only be about $12K each. Double the eventual winner’s share? Yeah, but what if they got caught? They did–and I would argue that giving Kenesaw Mountain Landis a pulpit from which to present hypocrisy is almost as bad as trying to fix a Series.

Anyway, Gandil didn’t play in organized baseball (a term I learned really means ‘baseball as approved by the U.S. game’s moguls’) after 1919. He died in 1970, somewhat repentant but never entirely credible in that sentiment. I doubt he would have regretted a bit had he collected $12K and never been found out. It looks to me like he actually promised the players shares of $80K, which implies that he meant to keep the rest for himself.

Why one might demur: One might begin by pointing out that most of the Black Sox were pretty bumptious, rather out of their league dealing with city-slicker crooks. That doesn’t make them saints, but it does mean they were vulnerable. One might continue by belaboring the obvious, which is that they worked for a first-class cheapskate and had no alternative employment options in their chosen profession thanks to the reserve clause. I suppose one might add that the Black Sox were acquitted in court–not that court verdicts or legal principles still mattered to ex-Judge Landis, armed with a mandate to make sure the public was lulled into a belief in the game’s ethical hygiene.

Grimes, Burleigh “Ol’ Stubblebeard”: player 1916-1934. p; p, 270 wins vs. 212 losses.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: A mean bastard.

The last legal spitballer (one of those grandfathered in when doctoring the ball was made illegal), Grimes was a fierce competitor who glared at every batter and declined to shave before pitching starts. He had a significant mean streak and was one of the great intimidators of his era. It’s not so much any one thing as his whole vibe of a nasty demeanor and willingness to throw at people. A good control pitcher, he only plunked 101 batters in a long career.

Why one might demur: If they’re your guys, they’re dirty headhunters. If they’re mine, they’re just fierce and unrelenting competitors who want to win and will defend their teammates. Obviously I go back and forth here, but when I imagine him stalking out to the mound after putting a new bit of slippery elm into his cheek before playing some chin music, I’m leaning toward scoundrel.

Johnson, Arnold: owner 1954-1960.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Disloyalty to his own team in favor of a competing team.

Because, while there is no documentary proof of which I’m aware, the circumstantial evidence is that he bought a distressed team with heavy Yankees support and rewarded them by acting, infamously, as an unofficial farm club for the league powerhouse. Good players were shopped to New York in return for cast-offs who kept the Kansas City Athletics mired in mediocrity. That would be collusion, tanking, and a betrayal of the principle that a team’s management should seek to advance the team’s fortunes.

Do that in wartime and we call it adhering to the enemy: treason.

Why one might demur: Well, as mentioned, I know of no proof. It could walk like a duck, quack like a duck, and swim like a duck–yet be a goose, at least in theory. Some might buy that theory, even if I don’t for a minute.

Landis, Kenesaw: commissioner 1920-1944

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Such a legal showman. Today he’d have a daytime court show like Judge Judy.

Let’s see. Let’s start with the fact that he was a judge, which to me starts out meaning something far less respectable than what most people believe. He brought in autocracy, and a mandate to make it look as if major league baseball was a clean game. In so doing, he banned for life eight players who were acquitted in a court of law (never mind that at least half of them had it coming). If that isn’t a fuck you to the legal system, I’m not sure what is. He bullied, pressured, and intimidated people (mostly uneducated, bumptious ballplayers who had no way to fight back), in my view all in an effort to burnish his own Andrew Jackson-like image (and he bore an astonishing resemblance to that other old bastard).

And yet, once he’d made his Great Big Statement by banning all the acquitted Black Sox, his handling went much easier. Ask the shades of Tris Speaker and Ty Cobb, who only avoided the same fate (banning with questionable justice) because the game was now supposed to be Officially Clean. If that weren’t enough, he did everything in his power to prevent integration and perpetuate the baloney about “there’s nothing stopping them.”

I hold his memory in limitless contempt.

Why one might demur: It is fair to say that the leadership of MLB had been pretty much Ban Johnson’s own bullying preserve for decades, and it’s not as if Landis was that much worse. It’s probably fair to indict almost every owner of the era of sleazebaggery. It is also true that something powerful needed to be done in order to rid the game of the gambling plague, and certainly without making some examples no one would either pay any attention nor believe that leadership was serious about lancing that economic boil. History has mostly recorded him as this stern but noble savior of the game, rather than the ruthless and self-aggrandizing bully I consider him to have been.

Martin, Billy: player 1950-1961 2b-ss; manager 1969-1988; five World Series rings including one as manager.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: A drunk prone to punching people.

A fierce and scrappy competitor, Martin played rough and fought both readily and well. Let’s see: He was clearly an alcoholic, abused umpires (tossed from 48 games as a manager), and might slug anyone, any time, for any minor offense. He flipped a bird in his 1972 Topps regular baseball card. (The in-action card, fittingly, shows him arguing with someone. As a child, I got that card in a wax pack but was too young and naive to look at the hand down his leg.) He was outspoken, often demeaning to his players, and was frequently fired.

Why one might demur: Some of his controversial public statements were true. Even if he took his competitive nature more than a little too far, he was a sharp baseball player and strategist who craved victories. And as a player, he took modest talent and turned it into a career that included an All-Star selection through sheer hustle, will, and guts. People might call him an SOB, but not even his greatest detractors could say he ever failed to give his best efforts.

And anyone who fought constantly with fellow scoundrel George Steinbrenner had at least one redeeming characteristic.

McGraw, John “Little Napoleon”: 1891-1907, 3b-2b; manager 1899-1932; .334 lifetime, .586 winning % as manager with ten pennants and three World Series titles.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Because McGraw was obnoxious, belligerent, and an unrepentant umpire abuser.

That might be why he was chased 121 times over a long career (though only rarely after 1916). Players had very mixed reactions to McGraw; some thought he was the best guy they could ever play for, and others wanted to go somewhere else.

Why one might demur: For one thing, McGraw at least showed open and public respect for the great black players he saw. I do not think any of those were still active as players soon enough to see the white major leagues welcome their talents (Paige, perhaps), but over the course of thirty years McGraw frequently contradicted the “if we could find a good Negro player, there’s no prohibition against him playing” hypocrisy by saying often: “I’d sign him in a minute if he was white.”  I don’t think that was without influence, McGraw being as noteworthy a judge of baseball talent as any of the greats. Another point of demurral would be his reaction to the Merkle affair. In 1908, Merkle hit a walk-off to drive in the winning run, the fans stormed the field, and Merkle did not take time to touch second base before heading for clubhouse safety; a ball, which might have been the actual ball in play, was relayed to second and Merkle was called out on appeal with the run not counting. The game was ultimately the margin of standing that enabled the Cubs to qualify for a playoff against McGraw’s Giants; the Cubs won.

While the media crucified him in the purple prose of the day–“Owing to the inexcusable stupidity of Merkle, a substitute…”, McGraw not only defended his player but gave him a raise. A capable athlete who had a long and successful career overshadowed by one moment in which he was called out doing a thing hundreds had done before and gotten away with it, Merkle took the stigma to his grave. Perhaps the greatest consolation he might have had was McGraw’s support.

O’Malley, Walter: 1950-1979, owner; four World Series titles

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Hey, everyone in Brooklyn does. I get their pernt.

Because, while baseball had always been a business on some level and owners had almost always been parsimonious scoundrels doing their all to make maximum money while generally undercompensating oft-bumptious country boys using the reserve clause as the weapon, O’Malley took it to a different level. The Brooklyn Dodgers and Ebbets Field were one of baseball’s sacred grounds, and he defiled both in search of more money. Had he sold the Dodgers, taken the money to California, and started an expansion team, that I would respect. I’ve never even been to NYC (except for a plane change at one of their airports), much less Brooklyn, but I feel for them.

Why one might demur: For all the customary capitalist reasons. His team and his right to do as he wanted; Western expansion was an idea whose time had come; at least the Mets soon came along to give New Yorkers non-Yankees to root for; greed is wonderful and beautiful and more greed is better; someone else would surely have beaten him to the opportunity; rah rah money money money. If you feel those things, yeah, you might well demur. I prefer to question the sacred principle of untrammeled greed, and I don’t think anything about this whole blog post leaves anyone doubting that.

Ruth, George “Babe”: 1914-1935, p-of; 714 career HRs, .342 lifetime BA

Why I consider him a scoundrel: What? In what universe are you permitted to blaspheme so profanely that you call The Bambino a scoundrel? Even his faintest damns are required to heap on mitigating praise!

As longtime readers of the site have determined, vulnerability to peer pressure is not one of my weaknesses. The fact is that Ruth was a bully, especially in his twenties and toward smaller players and managers, a quick-tempered and mostly ill-mannered lout.

Worse yet in my mind, he was congenitally unable to control his genital urges. I don’t blame him for getting laid, especially given that he was most often the hunted rather than the hunter; I blame him for cheating on his wife. “He was a pig, but he could hit” is true. It’s also true that when we marry, we make commitments. Our partners intend for us to take those commitments seriously, unless part of the commitment is that there isn’t a commitment. I think that’s rare. As with marital vows, Ruth made contrite promise after contrite promise post-naughtiness and dishonored nearly all of them. And the fact that he barely ever emotionally matured past mid-teen levels isn’t something I hold against him. Enthusiastic burping and farting, BO, and other social clodderies are unpleasant, but not the acts of a scoundrel. Same for being dumped in bad boys’ home at seven.

Why one might demur (rejecting “but he was the greatest ever” as a valid answer; I don’t care if he ascended directly to Heaven): While I am pretty sure that the Catholic friars at the bad boys’ school did their best to teach him some moral values, it’s true that he went from rags to literal riches as a young adult. He did not have the maturity to handle everything that happened once his talents became obvious. What he did have is a childhood of deprivation and abandonment. Go through that, then suddenly you’re getting all these nicknames, you can afford new cars every week if you want, life is an all-you-can-eat buffet, and feminine companionship won’t leave you alone. Doesn’t sound to me like a recipe for someone to act like a grown, intelligent adult male by 25. Or 30, though admittedly around that time he seems to have improved his behavior and started to act fairly adult.

Also in his favor is that he was a sucker for kids (and little people in at least one known instance), so at least he only picked on adults. You might say he was a scoundrel in whose shoes we never had/got to walk.

Schott, Marge: 1981-1999, owner; one World Series title

Why I consider her a scoundrel: Don’t know of anyone who doesn’t.

Marge Schott was reliably reported to be as bigoted as any executive of the pre-civil rights era (and some who came after). That was less the norm in the last two decades of the twentieth century, and her version of it was unbearable. She let her St. Bernards run free in the park, dropping frequent St. Bernard-sized deuces. She resented that the Series victory had come in too few games, cutting into her revenues. While I think that some of the loathing directed at her had to do with gender (as in, the men were expected to be this stupid, greedy, and bigoted, but a woman should not), it’s not like she failed to come by it honestly. She just proved that a woman could be as much of a jerk as any man. Hear her roar.

Why one might demur: She wasn’t all bad. She supported the local children’s hospital. She was certainly a pioneer for women in baseball, whatever we might think of the way she went about it. She cared about making the ballpark an attractive and somewhat affordable visit for families; enlightened self-interest perhaps, but still hardly anything but admirable.

Shires, Art “the Great”: 1928-1932, 1b; .291 lifetime, almost as many punches landed as base hits made.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: I just don’t like violent braggarts much. Call it a moral failing–at least, if you’re a fan of violent braggarts and think they’re the soul of Murrica.

Because he was a well-known braggart (for example, he gave himself the sobriquet “the Great), bully, and general loudmouth. He resorted very quickly to violence when aggravated in some way, which is as polite a way I can describe a man with a history of clocking anyone who looked at him sideways. He did some professional boxing, but found out that real boxers were a lot better fighters than reserve utility infielders or fortysomething managers. Later in life he beat a man to death with whom he’d been drinking, but got away with a $25 fine. I’m not sure if “Whataman,” one of Shires’ other nicknames, was given him by the media or himself. It says something that the answer isn’t obvious.

If that weren’t enough, he beat his wife. I grew up around that and swore lifetime and vocal opposition of domestic violence. My wife is a survivor. Choosing my words with some care, every time I read that a victim of DV has retaliated with success, I fail to experience sorrow.

Why one might demur: He wasn’t the only loudmouth of his time. Babe Ruth might have been the loudest loudmouth of his time (though Leo Durocher showed great promise in that area during the Shires period), a profane, fairly gross, and otherwise obnoxious man. Difference might be a) Ruth was by far the better player, and b) Ruth wasn’t the same type or magnitude of bully. If we could know the unknowable, we’d probably find that Shires was compensating for some deep anxiety. He certainly had problems with alcohol.

While I can’t be sure–until very modern times quite a few closeted gay men, which was most of them, married women and lived unhappily ever after with the women as victims of the pain of frustrated reality–I suspect a lot of overcompensation was in play. It’s not proven, but it would explain a lot especially given that Shires never remarried after his wife divorced his abusive ass for good. Evidently no women could be found who were stupid enough to do that, which makes me feel all right that my father-in-law grew up in Art’s home town.

Spalding, Al: player and sometime manager 1866-1878, p/of/if.; .313 lifetime; executive 1882-1892, marketer of sporting goods until his death in 1915.

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Because he promoted history he most likely knew to be bullshit. People who do that are moneylending in the temple and must be scourged forth.

The way that went down, to my understanding, is that Spalding cooked the books from the start. His committee invited letters only from origin testimonial sources who did not mention rounders or cricket, lest the public fully understand that the game originated from English sport. When someone blamed it on MG Abner Doubleday in the late 1830s, that sounded great: not just a Murrican, but a later Murrican Civil War ‘hero.’ (While hero might be pushing it a bit, especially as Doubleday is said to have endowed himself with the title, he was certainly a competent brigadier and divisional commander.)

And Spalding having obtained the baloney he was seeking, he ended the search. Baseball was and had always been the all-American game, solely invented here by Americans, end of discussion. Fucking liar.

Generations fell for it, though in time baseball historians destroyed the fiction. We might add to that all that he did to undermine the idea of a players’ union, helping thus to maintain the thralldom of players at low salaries so that rich owners could get richer.

Why one might demur: Spalding was certainly one of the game’s builders and pioneers. There were far worse people. If you don’t mind people promoting fictional tales as ‘history’ for purely nationalistic reasons, and you’re prone to whataboutism (‘so he was a jerk; what about many of his peers?’), no way would you have him on this list.

Steinbrenner, George: owner 1973-2008; seven World Series titles

Why I consider him a scoundrel:

Because his meddling in the Yankees was a sports story of the 1970s and 1980s exceeded only by Hank Aaron’s quest to hit 715 home runs.

Steinbrenner publicly and personally derided and ridiculed his players and managers, canning the latter with abandon. He used his great personal wealth to buy the best free-agent talent, which is not automatically the act of a scoundrel but certainly isn’t noble to any non-Randroid. He had unrealistic facial hair policies, made illegal campaign contributions to Nixon (whose misdeeds look almost quaint today), feuded with everyone, was twice suspended from baseball, and lied publicly (“I won’t be involved in the day-to-day operations of the club at all.”)

Why one might demur:

Don’t know how much one can really fault him for playing the then-new free-agent game for keeps; he did not make those rules. He certainly wanted to win, and as certainly did so. He supported numerous charitable causes, notably a foundation to help the children of police officers killed in the line of duty. As with most people, he wasn’t entirely evil, and he certainly thought of himself as one of the good guys. He just didn’t have a lot of concurrence in the public eye–and if he’d had a few less open and notorious feuds that sullied his image, might be more kindly remembered.

And let’s face it. Reggie Jackson really was a hot dog, if a highly intelligent and power-hitting hot dog. Billy Martin really was a fractious alcoholic, if a fractious alcoholic with a great baseball mind. Neither held back or ducked, and both had a few whaps coming–they were certainly dishing them out.

von der Ahe, Chris: owner 1882-1898; four league championships, entertainment pioneer

Why I consider him a scoundrel: Ignorant of baseball (as were most in his native Prussia), he made his players march like soldiers and tried to tell them how to play the game.

Chris von der Ahe was a character of the first water. With a heavy German accent, he bought the St. Louis Brown Stockings as a market for his beer. He was Bill Veeck before Veeck’s birth–but with less laughter. One could argue that he made the game somewhat ridiculous by bringing rides and racing to the ballpark; the latter got him in some hot water with the league due to gambling concerns (a good example of using a teaspoon to empty a swimming pool).

He was difficult to impossible to work or manage for. He insisted on doing some of his own managing and compiled a 3-14 record. Once, he threatened to hold back his players’ championship money. He was an alcoholic. He had a statue cast, set up in front of the ballpark–its subject, himself. (The statue was logically relocated to his grave after his death.) He was a living caricature.

Why one might demur: I’m a fan of von der Ahe. His team is still going over a century after his death–they evolved into the modern Cardinals. He thought the ballpark experience should be fun, as Veeck much later did using improved technologies. He had some winning teams. He was the kind of character that made one want to follow baseball and go to games. He lost his entire fortune and died in his early sixties as a simple bartender, so it’s not like he retired and wallowed in luxury for the rest of a long life.

*Ford, you asked for it.

Current read: Connie Mack’s First Dynasty, by Lew Freedman

One thing had always puzzled me about the history of baseball: future Hall-of-Famer Connie Mack’s demolition of the Philadelphia Athletics after the 1914 World Series loss to the Boston “Miracle” Braves in four games (thus a sweep). He had such a great team; why on earth? It is usually presented as a mystery (and it certainly mystified me for years), and perhaps a sudden burst of spite after his team collective wet the bed against a weaker but hungrier opponent.

One of my favorite aspects of history is when reading the take of someone who puts events into suitable context. This, combined with a general decline in critical thinking, makes such work even more important. Take anything completely out of context, and it can be spun to mislead–whether by accident or design. This is why Freedman’s book moved me to write.

The book covers the rise of Mack’s Athletics to five fine seasons: four pennants and two World Series wins. That’s no joke. The team had the best infield of its day, numerous Hall of Famers, and mostly good (often great) pitching. And after the 1914 season, Mack sold, released, or otherwise got rid of almost the whole team. Who the hell does this, and why?

I’m sure that this is all well recognized by deeper baseball historians than myself, but for me it was a revelation. Several factors played in; as usual with history, the truth is messier than a simplistic notion but is much more entertaining. What was happening:

  • Spite. Yes, there was some of that. Mack felt many of his players were complacent, and flirting with the rival Federal League and its bankrolls felt to him like betrayal. He had considered most of his players like sons, as would be his way for the rest of his career, so much so that when the outgoing Bobo Newsom showed up in Philly to play for Mack in the 1940s, he greeted him with “Hiya, Connie!” Six young and grim A’s confronted Newsom in short order. “We call him Mr. Mack, see?” To a degree, yes, hurt feelings were a part of the process. They were not the only part.
  • Federal League. The Feds began recognized play in 1914, and plenty of players jumped at the big money. This seems to happen when rival leagues form, and Mack wasn’t a big spender on salaries. His two best pitchers, Albert Bender and Eddie Plank, seemed near the end of the line. How much of his team would jump? Mack didn’t plan to wait around and find out. This was perhaps the greatest logical reason to do before he was done to.
  • War. WWI had already broken out in Europe, a major distraction that wouldn’t involve the United States for three years but was likely to be disruptive. As it was; future Hall of Famers Christy Mathewson and Grover Cleveland Alexander were physically and psychologically impaired by the war for the rest of their lives–in the case of Mathewson, a short one. The uncertainty of the times had to play a role.
  • Confidence. Mack stayed in baseball for so long that he is often remembered as an ancient and not very successful manager in the 1940s and early 1950s, still waving players into position with a scorecard. He was much younger in the 1910s, and had built a winner. He felt, with good cause, that he could do so again. And he did, though it took longer than he’d expected.
  • Shibe Park. What would become a storied big league ballpark didn’t have as much seating as would have been ideal, which (in combination with fickle fandom and surprisingly weak attendance) meant that Mack couldn’t outbid the Feds. Whatever else one says about Mack, he was neither stupid nor innumerate. Rather than lose bidding wars, he declined to fight them.

I find Freedman’s reasoning thoughtful and persuasive. Mack evidently looked at the overall situation, decided that it was either act or be acted upon, and made some tough decisions. The result was the 1915 Athletics, with a 43-109 finish as one of the lousiest teams in baseball history. The Mackmen didn’t win another pennant until 1929. They hit .237 (awful) and only one pitcher won in double digits, Weldon Wyckoff–while losing 22.

What might have happened had Mack stood pat? The 1915 team would have been better (then again, it could hardly have been worse). It is reasonable to think that enough of the old guard would have stayed and performed well that they could have brought the team out of the cellar, if not into the pennant race. It would have held up the youth movement, but not disastrously so. And while the Federal League fell apart after the 1915 season, Mack had no way of anticipating that in late 1914.

History must remember that the people of the times did not generally have foreknowledge. They could guess, predict, conjecture, analyze, and sometimes do a fair job of figuring out what was coming down from third base. In 1986, few people knew that the Soviet Union’s days as a going concern would end within five years. It’s easy to second-guess, but more difficult to see the world through the eyes of the day. I believe that this is key to understanding Mack’s personnel divestiture. He was the guy in charge, he read the tea leaves, felt his feelings, and did what he thought would lead to a rebuilt winner. Which he would, but without a single player from the 1915 season and only one of his former stalwarts from the dynasty: the unforgettable Eddie Collins, playing a bit part at 42 and mostly a coach.

Now it makes more sense to me.

Current read: Victory Faust, by Gabriel Schechter

This is arguably the best baseball book you’ve probably never heard of.

My copy was a holiday gift from Mr. Schechter himself. I met him at a mutual friend’s birthday party, one mainly focused on baseball enthusiasts, and he was handing out copies. I’m glad he was.

In 1911, a farm guy from Marion, Kansas (one county over from the one where my parents grew up) was supposedly told by a fiction fortune teller that if he went to Manhattan (New York’s, not ours), he would become a successful baseball player and meet the woman of his dreams. Charles Victor Faust was not, shall we say, richly endowed with any better critical thinking skills than he was a pitching arm, a batting eye, or a sense of baserunning. He hared off to New York City to thrust himself upon John McGraw’s New York Giants, a team that had come close to glory in recent years but never quite made it.

Faust made enough of a pest of himself to gain admission to the Giants’ clubhouse, if not the roster. He proceeded to entertain, lighten the mood, and make a fool of himself daily. He was the only one not in on the joke. Baseball players being a superstitious lot, the fact that New York tended to win with Faust in attendance got their attention. They took the correlation seriously enough for McGraw to keep Faust around the dugout, entertaining fans with his warmups, absorbing the heckles and pranks of the players. At least, when he wasn’t doing vaudeville or sulking because McGraw wouldn’t give him a contract.

The pride of Marion even got to appear in a couple of late-season games. He hardly lit the diamond on fire, but he has stat lines on Baseball-Reference.com and I don’t. The Giants won the pennant, but fell to the Athletics in the Series. Faust had worn out his welcome and migrated west, giving up on his delusions of big league pitching grandeur but not on a generally delusional nature. This was before Portland and Seattle had come to embrace their quirkiness, and he spent time in asylums in Oregon then Washington. He died of TB in Western State Hospital at Steilacoom, WA, where it seems the original numeric grave marker has in recent years received augmentation from a plaque mentioning him by name. About time.

Schechter tells all this far more effectively than I have summarized it.  His lengthy research shows in the detail he has uncovered about a ballplayer who was otherwise somewhat of an obscure caricature of a ballplayer. He offers just enough personal comment to be witty, but never to slant the narrative. If you like offbeat baseball history, this book is a yes. If you appreciate quality writing, another yes. If you respect deep research, three-for-three.

Secondary market copies go for $20-30 at this writing. I looked for a way to buy them direct from Schechter (who surely has a stockpile given that he brought some as gifts) and did not find one, but affordable copies are available.

1800s baseball trivia

Wasn’t long ago a friend gave me an extra copy of David Nemec’s The Great Encyclopedia of 19th Century Major League Baseball, a comprehensive attempt to complete the statistical and narrative history of the national sport’s early days. As I was reading along, it came to me that this would be a great source for a blog post on baseball trivia from that era. I got a stack of sticky notes and started tagging pages as I went.

Just to be quite clear and except where noted, all this information is mined from Mr. Nemec’s book, and I credit all of it to him. I recommend the source work to every hardcore old-time baseball enthusiast.

–In 1871, home plate was a 12″ stone square. Not until 1900 did it assume its modern five-side form, being 17″ wide.

–Batting averages did not mean quite what they mean today. In 1871, the National Association’s batting champ was Levi Meyerle with a .492 average. The fifth-placer, Steve King, only hit .396.

–Betting was a serious problem. In 1874, John Radcliff of the Philadelphia Pearls bet big ($350…in those days, half a year’s good wages for a cowboy) on the Chicago White Stockings. Against his own team. The rules said he was to be banned for life, but he was back in action in 1875.

–The 1876 Philadelphia Athletics’ pitchers struck out only 22 hitters. That’s low even for a 60-game season.

–In 1877, the Chicago White Stockings managed to hit exactly zero home runs. Those were small ball days.

–The first grandstand screen behind the plate was installed in Messer Park, home of the Providence Grays, in or before 1879. Until then, the best seats in the house were also among the most dangerous.

–One of the forgotten greats of baseball’s past was George Gore, a sharp-eyed contact hitter who averaged over one run per game from 1871 to 1892.

–It’s common–and almost always unfounded–for hecklers to accuse umpires of having money on games. It wasn’t always unfounded. In 1882 Dick Higham showed such obvious signs of being in the tank that he received a ban from baseball. What did he do then? Became a bookie.

–Some of the day’s nicknames would scandalize us today. In addition to a few players nicknamed “Nig,” and any Native American player liable to be nicknamed “Chief” (these details are outside the book’s sourcing and are generally common knowledge among old baseball buffs), any deaf player was tagged with “Dummy.” I believe that the first of these was “Dummy” Dundon, an 1883-84 Columbus Buckeye and alum of the Ohio School for the Deaf. He was the reason umpires developed hand signals for balls and strikes.

–In 1884, Hoss Radbourn won either 59 or 60 games depending on which source one embraces. I doubt anyone since then has even come close to that. (He lost only 12. In those days, pitchers didn’t get yanked on strict pitch counts.)

–Pete “The Gladiator” Browning won three batting titles and hit .341 for a twelve-year career in the 1880s and 1890s. One year he stole 103 bases. He is somehow not in the Hall of Fame.

–Before the mid-1880s, the conventional wisdom said that no lefty could become a great pitcher. By 1886 that outlook was fully discredited, with a number of left-handed pitchers posting excellent records. Between Warren Spahn, Lefty Grove, Steve Carlton, Carl Hubbell, Randy Johnson, and let’s not forget Sandy Koufax, the notion seems almost quaint today.

–Until 1887, teams sometimes used substitutes from the crowd. Often they didn’t even put on uniforms.

–The youngest player known to have ever played in a major league game is not Joe Nuxhall. In 1887, 14-year-old Fred Chapman started for Philadelphia against Cleveland. And won–by forfeit, not through his pitching. For unclear reasons, the umpire awarded the Athletics the forfeit after an argument about officiating.

–In an 1889 contest between St. Louis and Brooklyn,  when the umpire refused to call the game on account of darkness, the Browns refused to remain on the field and set candles around their dugout. After the game, the Brooklyn faithful bombarded the Browns players with beer steins on the way to their transportation.

–Also in 1889, unstable but brilliant pitcher John Clarkson of the Boston Beaneaters shot the statistical lights out. 49 wins, 620 innings pitched, 68 complete games, 284 strikeouts, a .721 winning percentage, a 2.73 ERA, and an on-base percentage of .305. All were league-leading marks.

–If they could see 1800s baseball, those accustomed to slick modern fielding might think they had gotten lost and wandered into a slapstick routine. Two players made 122 errors in a season (per baseball-reference.com, the 2021 Miami Marlins led both leagues in errors with exactly that number for the whole team’s entire season), and seventeen achieved the infamy of clearing 100 miscues in a season.

Imagine a team batting average of .349. Dress them in Phillies flannels, because that described the 1894 Philadelphians. The team leader hit .416.

Here’s a list of interesting nicknames I tagged as I went along:

  • Charles “Lady” Baldwin
  • George “Foghorn” Bradley
  • Edward “Cannonball” Crane
  • Hugh “One Arm” Daily
  • Lewis “Buttercup” Dickerson
  • Patrick “Cozy” Dolan
  • William “Cherokee” Fisher
  • Frank “Silver” Flint
  • Jim “Pud” Galvin
  • Welcome Gaston. Not a nickname!
  • George “Chummy” Gray
  • Frank “Noodles” Hahn
  • John “Egyptian” Healy
  • Charlie “Piano Legs” Hickman
  • William “Brickyard” Kennedy
  • Alphonse “Phoney” Martin
  • Samuel “Leech” Maskrey. Not exactly a nickname, but not exactly not; Leech was his middle name.
  • George “Doggie” Miller
  • Thomas “Toad” Ramsey
  • James “Icicle” Reeder
  • John “Count” Sensenderfer
  • Oliver “Patsy” Tebeau
  • Charles “Pussy” Tebeau
  • George “White Wings” Tebeau. What the hell was with the Tebeau tribe?
  • Ledell “Cannonball” Titcomb
  • William “Peekaboo” Veach
  • William “Chicken” Wolf

This book is a treasure haul of such information. Nemec has done a fantastic job.

Black History Month: the first on each team

One opportunity I would never pass up would be the chance to edit a baseball book on the Negro Leagues. Hope springs eternal. What talents, what characters, what baseball.

For now, let’s celebrate Black History Month by highlighting a part of the history not everyone understands: the ultimate integration. Until 1961, the white major leagues comprised sixteen teams, eight in each league. Their integration didn’t all happen at once just because Jackie Robinson showed up, kept his temper for a year, and excelled in the face of every form of disrespect anyone could send in his direction. It actually took twelve years, and some teams made themselves look pretty bad by the length of their dawdling.

Twelve years? Seriously. Yet it’s true. Children born the day Jackie Robinson first took the field for Brooklyn were near puberty by the time the Boston Red Sox finally caved.

I do not think that most baseball enthusiasts today stop to consider what it meant that, six years after Jackie Robinson and with talents like Monte Irvin, Willie Mays, Don Newcombe, Larry Doby, and Roy Campanella sparkling on the field, only half the teams in the white major leagues had fielded a player of sub-Saharan African heritage.

(A note on terms. Many Cubans, Dominicans, etc. are of African heritage, but calling them African American is not correct unless we’re defining everyone on both continents as American. So if you would define a black Falkland Islander or Ecuadorean or Canadian as ‘African American,’ be my guest and replace every use of “black” with “African American” as you read. My point is that most people don’t think as they replace one term with another. I once heard Nelson Mandela described as “a brave African American.” Brave, no doubt–but Mandela was an African African, for pete’s sake, and the speaker’s mindlessness was unbecoming the subject.)

No disrespect to Moses Fleetwood Walker and the other black ballplayers of the late 1800s, who played and then were barred as the whole country tilted toward discriminatory practices. The subject matter here is the integration, or re-integration on some level, of the sixteen modern pre-expansion-era (1903-1960) AL/NL teams begun by Jackie Robinson.

Let’s pay tribute to those pioneers, some famous and some not, and talk a bit about their careers and outcomes. Some are familiar only to baseball buffs, but each was a groundbreaker and deserves our respectful memory. The question is not always straightforward because, well, define “black.” If it means a single drop of subsaharan African heritage, well, that’s a lot of really white-looking people including me–but had I lived then and been able to throw like Satchel Paige, I don’t think I’d have had any trouble getting a legit shot at making a 1930s AL/NL roster. As lots of Afro-Caribbean folks will tell you, it’s quite possible to be black and Cuban, black and Dominican, black and Bahamian, and so on. At times, some Afro-Caribbean players were able to sort of “pass” in the US baseball world. The entire distinction shows up the inherent silliness of stressing over people’s racial origin, degree of skin color, and so on. The main distinction, the one society tries not to draw because it brings into focus an uncomfortable truth, is that you’re considered black if you’re treated like you’re black. Makes me wonder what sort of hassles Rachel Dolezal endured before she came out as white.

Of these seventeen (we will get into why there are not sixteen), four are in the Baseball Hall of Fame: Robinson, Doby, Irvin, and Banks. I think one can make a great case for Miñoso; Howard, perhaps and perhaps not. Still, four out of seventeen is quite the haul–testimony to the level of talent of which the white major leagues had deprived their fans for decades. If you wanted to win ballgames, and knowing nothing else, you knew there was a one-in-fourish chance your new guy would become a legend, you’d give him a try yesterday. Of tens of thousands of big league ballplayers who have taken the field since the game went professional, some 300+ are Hall of Famers–maybe one in a hundred. Even if common sense told you that one out of four of those who might follow your rookie wasn’t going to be Ernie Banks, they would still have your fascinated attention. It doesn’t take very many great players to transform a baseball club.

In order of the date of first appearance, here are the first black players to take the field for each AL or NL team:

Brooklyn Dodgers (NL): Jackie Robinson, April 15, 1947. He is perhaps the player least needing introduction for the most obvious reasons, but the thing to realize is that he was 28 in 1947. He did everything well, enough to make one wonder what his .311 lifetime NL batting average might have been had it included seven more of his prime playing years. He did everything at an All-Star level except pitch. For many aspiring black American ballplayers, the Dodger jersey would become a revered symbol of everything Robinson and integration meant to them, and to grow up to wear that uniform onto a ballfield would be a motivational dream. I remember when Robinson passed away (1972, age 53), entirely too young, and one could feel the sense of loss throughout the game.

Cleveland Indians (AL): Larry Doby, July 5, 1947. As the first black player in the American League, Doby deserves more notice than he tends to receive. He deserves better. Breaking in at 23, his AL career lasted until 1959 and included seven All-Star selections. Hitting .283 with good power over that timeframe, he was an asset to three AL teams over his tenure. Not only was he the second black player in the AL/NL, but he later became the second black manager. Doby lived to be 79, standing his ground to the end of his days.

St. Louis Browns (AL; today, the Baltimore Orioles): Hank Thompson, July 17, 1947. A veteran of the Battle of the Bulge, Hank debuted at the age of 21. Thompson was a capable if unspectacular contributor to the New York Giants of the early 1950s, hitting .267 for his career and having a number of notable moments; for example, very few players have hit two inside-the-park homers in a single game. By 30 he was out of baseball, and he died of a seizure at the untimely age of 43. The Browns would be the last team of 1947 to begin integration, and the last until 1949.

New York Giants (NL; today, the San Francisco Giants): Hank Thompson (previously mentioned) and Monte Irvin, July 8, 1949. Yes, they both played on the same day, making Thompson the only player to be the first African American on two different teams. (The Giants were visiting Brooklyn, so they batted first, and Thompson hit leadoff; Irvin appeared as a pinch hitter in the top of the eighth). Monte Irvin, another former combat engineer veteran of the Bulge, was 30 that day he got his NL chance, but he made the most of his time with an NL career batting average of .293 and a frightening clip of .458 in the 1952 World Series. A famously pleasant man, Irvin remained close to the game for most of his very long life (96 years).

Boston Braves (NL; today, the Atlanta Braves): Sam Jethroe, April 18, 1950. “Jet” broke in at the age of 33 after a long and impressive Negro Leagues career. He played only three full seasons for the Braves, showing the logic behind his nickname by twice leading the NL in stolen bases. A better hitter and runner than he was a fielder, he was nonetheless a groundbreaker in Boston in that Boston’s other team, the Red Sox, would gain infamy by being the very last integrated AL team. Jet passed in 2001, living to be 84.

Chicago White Sox (AL): Minnie Miñoso, May 1, 1951. One of the steadiest ballplayers of the 1950s and 1960s, the Cuban-born Miñoso’s .298 lifetime batting average barely begins to tell the whole story of this remarkable ballplayer. He got his first taste of AL action at 23 with Cleveland, but became a regular with the Sox in 1951 (hitting .326, making Cleveland’s trading him look awful). He led the AL in hits once, doubles once, triples three times, stolen bases three times, and being hit by pitches ten times. Three Golden Gloves, an award that only began when he was 31. A fan and teammate favorite, he remained a steady hitter in the Mexican League as late as the age of 47. He lived to be 89, remaining close to the game and the White Sox for the rest of his days.

Pittsburgh Pirates (NL): Carlos Bernier, April 22, 1953. On this list, he was the first man I’d never heard of until I began this project. A career minor leaguer who played only one statistically unremarkable year in the NL, Bernier might be more famous for the controversy that came to attend his trip to the bigs, in that–in a classic case of “who decides who’s black?”–MLB doesn’t recognize the Puerto Rican-born Bernier as a black man. Evidently Bernier identified as black. If you want to go with MLB, the first black Pirate would be Curt Roberts (1954), but I mean no slight to Roberts or his accomplishment when I say that I’m not buying MLB’s arbiter-of-blackness authority. Bernier died at age 62, sadly by suicide.

Philadelphia Athletics (AL; today, the Oakland A’s): Bob Trice, September 13, 1953. By now, note well, it had been six years since Jackie Robinson who–like everyone else previously named on this list except Jethroe–was still active in 1953. At this point, even the most die-hard illusionist had to admit that keeping black players out of the NL/AL was not merely bigotry but self-sabotage. Trice was also the first first-timer on this list to enter as a pitcher, though he would turn out to be a better hitter (.288) than pitcher (9-9, 5.80) in a three-year AL career that began when he was 26. He didn’t set the league on fire, but neither did anyone else on the A’s staff (if one did, they farmed him up to the Yankees). A sore shoulder was a downer; not long after that, he actually asked to return to the minors. His mojo never really came back for keeps. Trice passed away at the age of 62.

Chicago Cubs (NL): Ernie Banks, September 17, 1953. Well, this one’s pretty easy. Everyone’s heard of Ernie Banks. His only detractor ever was Leo Durocher, who had a detractor or two of his own. In Chicago the churches relax their idolatry rules a little bit for Banks. Entering the National League at 22, he played until he was forty. A power-hitting shortstop (rare find, that), he rarely missed a game until his last couple of years. One Gold Glove, two NL home run crowns, two MVP awards, 512 career homers…well, it’s not hard to see why Chicago so loves this career Cub. Ernie’s talent is testimony to the kind of baseball the white major leagues could have enjoyed watching much sooner had they not been merely the white major leagues. He passed in 2015, aged 83.

St. Louis Cardinals (NL): Tom Alston, April 13, 1954. Seven years into integration, it was starting to get awkward for the holdouts. Those who owned breweries, like Gussie Busch, stood to lose a lot of business if black customers voted with their wallets. The result was the Cards signing 28-year-old Alston, a rangy first baseman. While he didn’t set the league on fire, he did play about half of 1954 and had brief returns to the Cardinals over the following three seasons. Alston lived to be 67, passing on in 1993.

Cincinnati Redlegs (NL; today, the Cincinnati Reds): Nino Escalera and Chuck Harmon, April 17, 1954. I actually had to go back and dig up which entered the game first; both were pinch hitters, with Escalera hitting for catcher Andy Seminick (singled) and Harmon batting next for pitcher Corky Valentine (made an out). A 24-year-old Puerto Rican utility player (and a rare left-throwing shortstop), Escalera saw sparing action in what would be his only major league year. Hitting .159 probably explains that. He is still with us at age 91. Harmon, now, was already 30 by the time he stood in to hit for Valentine. His .238 lifetime average for three teams over four years was unspectacular but good enough to keep him ready for the call-up. He lived to be 94, passing on in 2019.

Washington Senators (AL; today, the Minnesota Twins): Carlos Paula, September 6, 1954. Breaking into the AL at 26, this Havana-born outfielder played parts of three years for the Senators. 1955 was his best, with part-time roles leading to a more than respectable .299 average. Not sure why he slipped to .183 the next year, but it was his last at the highest level. Seven years into integration, considering the demographics of the DC metro area and the team’s historic underperformance, I see only one reasonable explanation for that long delay and it’s not comforting–especially considering the later racist attitudes of then-owner Clark Griffith’s son Calvin. Paula passed on in 1983 at the untimely age of 55.

New York Yankees (AL): Elston Howard, April 14, 1955. He was 26 when the Yankees finally integrated, a catcher who did many things well–except run, which I mention here because of a horrible comment attributed to manager Casey Stengel about having finally ‘gotten’ a (person of color; you can guess the actual word that was used) and complaining that he wasn’t fast. While it’s true enough about Howard (nine stolen bases in a fourteen-year career), it testifies to the stereotypical thinking still with us today. Howard was a mainstay of the great Yankees teams of the late 1950s and early 1960s, and was with them as they declined into irrelevancy in the Vietnam years. Once the AL MVP, twice a Gold Glover, Howard’s best showing at the plate was his .348 monster year on that great 1961 team. Little-known fact: he is credited with inventing the batting donut. Howard died younger than he should have (51) in 1980.

Philadelphia Phillies (NL): John Kennedy, April 22, 1957. Ten years and one week before, when Jackie Robinson had broken in, the Phillies and arch-bigot manager Ben Chapman were the league’s coarsest bench jockeys. Now, finally, they would become the last NL club to integrate–if you want to call it that. Kennedy, a compact shortstop, participated in five games with two times at bat for the Phils, which is more opportunity than the Giants had given him after signing him in 1953. That ended Kennedy’s AL/NL career at 30. Never a tremendous star in the minors, the choice of a fairly unpromising player raises its own set of questions. Surely they had, or could have chosen to have, more promising prospects of color given what others had been accomplishing for the past decade. John Kennedy died in 1998, aged 71.

Detroit Tigers (AL): Ozzie Virgil, Sr., June 6, 1958. The first Dominican in the AL/NL, Virgil joined the Giants for the 1956 season at age 24, but he was not their first black player. When Detroit acquired him, he became the Tigers’ first. Anyone who can catch has a good shot at a career, and Virgil mainly caught and played third, so he would remain mostly in the majors until 1966 with a single appearance in 1969. A combined .231 career average tells us he was not the next Roy Campanella, but he was the one who brought down the second to last team’s wall, and he did spend another twentyish years as a coach. Virgil is still with us, 88 at this writing, and is no doubt proud of a son who became a two-time All-Star catcher.

Boston Red Sox (AL): Pumpsie Green, July 21, 1959. And then there was one, twelve years later. Robinson was actually retired by the time racist Boston owner Tom Yawkey gave a black ballplayer a chance. Green, who was 25 at the time, at least got a chance to show what he could do. A part-time middle infielder for five years (four with the Red Sox, the last one with the Mets), he finished with a career average of .246. Much later, his place in the game’s history received some recognition as the Red Sox inducted him into the team’s hall of fame. The last man to be the first black man on an AL or NL team had a long life, passing away in 2019 at the age of 85.

Some became legends. Some are forgotten today. Most are now gone. Not a one of them had it easy. It is simple justice for fans of the sport, which becomes more global each year even as African Americans seem to drift away from it, to stop and give respect to seventeen ambitious athletes who helped to make our national pastime much more national and inclusive.

In memoriam: Jim Bouton, 1939-2019

Word comes to me of the passing of one of my life’s most inspirational figures: James Alan Bouton.

Jim was a professional baseball pitcher, inventor, author, and motivational speaker. He enjoyed brief but eye-opening success with the Yankees in the mid-sixties–won two games in a World Series, for example–until his arm began to give out. Reinventing himself as a knuckleball pitcher in his first comeback, he caught on with the inaugural Seattle Pilots in 1969. The Pilots traded him to Houston during the second half of the season. He was mostly effective in relief for both teams, but not enough to guarantee staying.

Few of his teammates realized that, during 1969, Jim was writing a book. Unlike most baseball books, this one would tell the whole truth. Ball Four, perhaps the most important baseball memoir ever authored, would forever polarize Jim Bouton’s world. His detractors would accuse him of revealing material shared in private, embarrassing baseball, ingratitude toward the game, and other unwelcome deeds. His supporters, including me since my teen years, would laud him for writing a very interesting book; telling the honest truth about the lives of professional ballplayers; refusing to conform to the establishment (and baseball’s establishment has long been full of Stuffy McStuffshirts); and countering the dumb jock stereotype.

Neither side is entirely right or wrong, but there can be no doubt of my position. I’ve never imagined Jim Bouton as a perfect man, nor does he present himself as such in Ball Four or his subsequent books. For me, a bullied intellectual trapped in a horrible situation with nearly no person or institution to take my side, Jim’s book gave me heart. It may be one of the reasons I didn’t go all the way around the bend.

In 1990, while unemployed, I took the time to find a mailing address for Jim Bouton. I felt he needed to know how much I appreciated his work, and I told him what it had meant to me. I didn’t expect a response. Three months later, a UPS driver delivered me a small parcel: a copy of the 1990 re-release of Ball Four. I opened it to see the inscription: “For Jonathan. Smoke ’em inside. Jim Bouton 8/90.”

You may imagine what that meant. Later, with the rise of e-mail, I would have a couple of exchanges with him. I would learn that my letter had made it into a special file where he kept those that meant most to him, letters he would take out and read again on bad days or for inspiration. I learned that as much as Jim Bouton mattered to me, it turned out that in a small way, I also mattered to him.

Jim made a second baseball comeback in the mid-1970s, ultimately reaching the Atlanta Braves. He didn’t stay, but he did reach his goal, and in the process had a number of adventures including a turn with the Portland Mavericks. Let’s give you a sample of Jim’s writing style, and let him tell it:

“The Mavericks were the dirty dozen of baseball, a collection of players nobody else wanted, owned by actor Bing Russell. The team motto could have been “Give me your tired, your poor, your wretched pitchers yearning to breathe free.” In a league stocked with high-priced bonus babies, Maverick players made only $300 per month and had to double as the ground crew. Revenge being a strong motivator, the Mavs had the best team in the league.”

I so wish the Mavs still existed.

Jim Bouton meant more to me than a distant inspirational figure in another way, in that I also made two baseball comebacks. The first occurred when I was 29, having not played since my high school catching and outfielding days ended at 17. Six years later, including five with the Seattle Giants (PSMSBL; just to be clear, I always had to pay to play; I was never paid to play), my achilles tendon parted as I took a step toward the dugout at the end of an inning. We moved from Seattle to eastern Washington. The walking cast came off. I followed the instructions. And then I learned of a local MABL league that was offering tryouts. Even lousy catchers always get drafted, and I turned out. An expansion team picked me up, but the next year that group would morph into the Tri-City Rattlers. I would play there until I was 44, when a brief juke to avoid a fastball to the knee tore my cartilage and induced me to hang ’em up.

For that second comeback, I switched from my old number standby of 9 to 56, Jim’s number all through his big league days. It always made me proud when anyone would ask about it. I even worked hard enough on my own knuckleball to get two pitching tries, one a start. I’m pretty sure our manager knew we were going to get clobbered and felt that our usual pitchers were in serious need of rest, but I still went five innings. I’d watched people try to bunt the knuckleball from behind the plate, but never from the mound. Most amusing.

One may well see reasons I always felt close to Jim Bouton. Later in his life, he added to his authorial body of work with a fictional story about a bribed umpire, then the non-fictional story of his efforts to save an aging historic ballpark. His website advertised his services as a motivational speaker, and he was in demand at Old-Timers’ and commemorative events. I fell in with the Facebook group Ball Four Freaks, a hilarious place where it is always customary to respond with lines from the book. A new member shows up? That’s part of the heckling. “Hiya, blondie, how’s your old tomato?” “That sure is an ugly baby you got there.” “Okay, all you guys, act horny.” Everyone who loves the book gets it immediately. We don’t get many phonies. One fun aspect is that Jim’s son, Michael, will stop by now and then and can answer a question or two.

Jim Bouton did much in life, most of it after his best playing days. He kept playing semi-pro, then amateur baseball until his seventies, when he helped start up an old-time flannel league. To the end, he was as accessible as he could be to those of us whose lives he had affected. He wrote a number of great books, all themed around baseball. He has now stepped off the mound for the last time.

He will be remembered after many of his contemporary athletes have faded from the public mind.

As for me, my eyes very rarely even begin to water in grief. They water easily when I am moved by action or achievement of valor, but rarely in grief. It is not that I do not mourn; it’s that I mourn in introspective silence. This time, they watered.

Books by Jim Bouton:

Ball Four: The Final Pitch

Foul Ball: My Life and Hard Times Trying to Save an Old Ballpark

Strike Zone (with Eliot Asinof)

I’m Glad You Didn’t Take It Personally

I Managed Good, But Boy Did They Play Bad (edited/anthology)

Strat-o-Matic: my chronic illness

No, it’s not as bad as diabetes. It only now and then costs me too much money for too little product which, even then, delivers me enjoyment out of proportion to the dollars spent. It’s probably not classified as an addiction, mainly because I can go for years without engaging in it. But it’s always still there waiting for the next outbreak cycle, like malaria or elective politics. I prefer to think of it as a chronic disorder.

The 1970s: a time when baseball cards were toys, not investments. The era in which kids read comic books rather than investing in them. The era in which we thought American government could not possibly get more corrupt or evil than the Nixon administration.

Even our adults had naive, childish notions, didn’t they?

Then again, in those days loaded open-end mutual funds were taken seriously as investments by persons who could do arithmetic.

In those days, if you lived in an isolated place, the Sears, Ward, and Penney catalogues were your nearest approximation to something like Amazon. Companies seeking kids’ money had to advertise where the kids were looking, and that meant comic books. The most common ads:

  • An offer to get catalog rewards by selling seeds. “Send no money…we trust you!”
  • Sets of cheap plastic toy soldiers in some theme: Revolutionary, Roman, modern, etc.
  • “Sea monkeys,” essentially brine shrimp, which in the flesh didn’t look much like the joyful anthropomorphic nudists in the ad.
  • BB Guns. I try to explain this to kids today, and they don’t believe me: we had BB gun wars. No aiming high–you could blind someone.
  • The Charles Atlas transformation exercise manual (I think it was a book), with the proverbial nerd getting sand kicked in his face and girls rejecting him until he kicked some ass.
  • Strat-o-Matic Baseball.

I have no idea what they marketed to the girls, but I’m sure it was sexist. Back then, life was sexist.

When I first saw the SOM ads, circa about 1972-73, I had no idea how the game could back up its brag. All major league teams, with players who played significant time, performing realistically? Before that, my sports simulation mind had involved spinners and kiddie games. Still, $10 (or whatever it was they wanted) was a hell of a lot of money, almost a couple months’ allowance. It would buy a lot of baseball cards and comic books, known quantities of enjoyment. I didn’t go for it. You couldn’t be too careful; you knew most of these ads were a load of bullshit.

We moved, and before he became a mortal enemy, I got to know the neighbor kid as sort of a friend. He had Strat-o-Matic, the 1971 season. Turned out it was completely legit: every player got a card, reflecting his performance. Half the results came from pitchers’ cards, half from batters’ cards, so that would average out. Sophisticated stuff, big-boy sports gaming. I absorbed the homebrew pen-and-paper scorekeeping method that I would desire to use (but not even dream of trying) when I would one day be an official scorer for a local baseball league. I had to have my own game, of course, and in 1975 I sprang for the current (1974) set. A few years later, my enemy sold me his 1971 cards for a song, one of the few times I got the best of him.

I didn’t buy or need any more annual card sets in my youth. I attempted ill-fated season replays with statkeeping, a ludicrous proposition with pen and paper solitaire. Even though I never even came close to finishing one, it kept me somewhat sane through seven years of hell. Between D&D, Strat, and books, I avoided doing all the retributory things that were morally justified but would be life-limiting.

Come the 1980s, I escaped to college, and my chronic SOM pattern continued: remission, outbreak, remission, outbreak. Remissions lasted a year or two. Then I graduated, and I had real money and was independent of my parents, and could buy whatever the hell I felt like. I bought the then-current cards, 1986. They still looked just like what I’d known as a kid: comforting, clean, often irregularly cut, black on white with blue on white reverses (the reverses were for if you were playing with the lefty/righty rules).

Here my memory gets a bit hazy, but sometime around 1990, Strat came out with a computer version of its baseball game. Adult time is different from kid time: even with my Atari ST and a pirated spreadsheet program to calculate batting averages and ERAs, it just wasn’t practical to replay whole seasons with the cards and dice. I lived in Seattle, worked six days a week, spent thirteen hours per day working or commuting, slept maybe seven hours a night, leaving four hours each day to call my own. When the computer version matured a bit, I bought a copy. I had assumed there would be Great Evolutions.

Nah.

I came to realize a thing about SOM, a mighty strength and crippling weakness all at once: it was hopelessly, comically, defiantly retro. When SOM wanted to make computer games, it hired a programmer. Not multiple programmers; a programmer. He’s still working there, same guy, all this time. Unfortunately, the game reflected a user interface only a programmer could love, but I had learned that was what happened when one let programmers design the UI. In the programming mind, if there is a way to do it and it doesn’t crash, that’s good enough; on to the next issue. In spite of an amazingly clunky setup relative to other computer games, I still enjoyed SOM’s computer baseball. I could replay past seasons and let the game record the stats. It had zero arcade quality, but arcade games were for the insufficiently hardcore.

The boardgame finally did away with a deck of twenty numbered cards, in favor of a twenty-sided die à la D&D, about twenty years after D&D came out. I marvel that they got around to acknowledging the Internet before 2000. Just. Barely. Before. 2000. But they did, fair’s fair. They liked it a lot better when it gave them a better form of copy protection, and Strat is all about the copy protection.

Came the CD-ROM era, and several years into it–when the CD-ROM had since became the norm on all DOS/Windows PCs, SOM breathlessly announced its great innovation: CD-ROM Baseball! It was sort of like being the last car company to market a hybrid vehicle, and making it sound as if they’d invented the concept. Now, this was a spendy game. If you didn’t want the cards as well, it cost about fifty bucks a year, two-thirds that if you kept upgrading every year. Past season disks cost about $20 each. Want modern color ballparks? That’ll be another $20. Want past season ballparks? Another $20, please. Buy both of those plus three past seasons, and you’d lay down $100.

About this time, SOM changed the cards’ basic look. Reverses got blue and red sides for the handedness. Ink on the front went a horrible dull navy blue, harder to read and uglier than a clutch of bigoted facial expressions. No more mis-cut cards–they came in sheets of nine, and you had to separate them yourself, though at least they were all the same size. I looked at these cards and realized my days of wanting new physical cards were over. These weren’t SOM cards, at least not for me. The ones I liked, they no longer would make.

How’s that for comedy? For once the ultra-conservative, change-resistant company makes a legitimate change, and now I don’t like that either? Honestly, I’d have been fine had the fronts stayed the same. As a kid, I’d only played with the fronts anyway.

I settled into a pattern that continues to this day. Every few years I’d miss SOM, and spend some money for a new copy of the game. As the Internet came along, SOM developed very stiff copy protection, requiring your machine to contact their server and authenticate the program and any features in use. I’d have to relearn the clunkiness of the whole UI all over again, at least for starting new seasons, but I would bull through to relearn it. Now and then something would go wrong, and I learned that what one did was write a real letter to Mr. Hal Richman, owner and founder of the company. I always received a fair resolution. SOM is old school in every way, including the potential to write politely to the top person and make one’s case.

Must I even mention that they’re still in the same building as ever on Lon Gisland? Don’t laugh. Every year, when the new cards come out, there are people who go to Glen Head, NY and freeze their butts off waiting in line for Opening Day–the day they can pick up their cawd awhdahs.

And yet for years, and I think still to this day, Strat refuses to fix its weaknesses, or to get with the times. The guy working shipping seems indifferent. They charge by the minute for phone tech support. You can email for tech support, but I didn’t get any answers either time. Worst of all, since seasons are installed from the current version’s CD or from the website, a legitimately purchased past season may become incompatible with the current game. That may force one to purchase that season again. Which may then force one to update the game, in spite of the cold reality that the annual updates deliver less value for the dollar than one can find outside Microsoft (where updates provide negative value and thus the company should actually pay users to accept them). The UI has only minimally evolved in all this quarter century. They were lauding the “VGA Ballparks” as a big deal long after VGA became a bare minimal display standard. If you hate change for the sake of change, fair is fair: SOM is your kind of outfit. It may teach you to ask yourself how much you really do hate change for the sake of change.

And I do. I’m change-averse enough that some of what I’m presenting, which sounds to most people like faults, comforts me. At least with SOM, when I have to relearn everything after a few years off, the everything I must relearn will probably not have changed much; it’s my memory that is the weak point. Far as I know, the arcade action is still limited to watching the flight of a ball in one of several designated azimuths/trajectories tailored to the ballpark image in use. If there is a company in this world that is not going to fix what is not broken (except for that horrible blue ink; that’s broken), it’s Strat-o-Matic.

I’ve still never had a no-hitter, never had anyone hit for the cycle. I read recaps of big tournaments where they talk how so-and-so threw a no-no and such-and-so hit for the cycle. Guaranteed one of each per recap, it seems. I don’t believe them. Never have. What do they take me for? Someone fudged, that’s what I think. It’s a shibboleth, but I don’t much care. What are they going to do?

So here we are, and after all these years I’m still experiencing the chronic condition that is Strat-o-Matic. In a couple of months, it’ll go into remission. By the next acute outbreak, I’ll have a new computer, which will mean I didn’t formally recall the authorization from my old one, which will mean I have to write to them and beg to have my codes reset, which will mean that by the time I install it, some of my past seasons will no longer work because they’ve updated them, which will mean I’ll be annoyed, which may or may not mean I decide to repurchase them, and which will at least shorten my outbreak because it’ll irritate me. Solely because it reminds me of youthful joy, with SOM I tolerate obstacles that would make me dismiss nearly any other company.

The core people at the company have been the same for so long that it’s hard to imagine life without them. Hal Richman must be 80. Everyone else has to be at least looking at retirement sometime in the reasonable future. And yet they’ve brought on some very worthy help. Glenn Guzzo, a fan as long as I have been and a really nice fellow, is working there now. So is Chris Rosen, a longtime secondary market vendor of SOM stuff, great reputation. One supposes that eventually the firm will pass into their hands, and that one day I’ll have my outbreak and find that the company has begun to evolve at a swifter pace than metamorphic rock formations. Both are historic innovators who got things done. I can see them doing that at Strat.

I had an attack earlier this morning, but it’s under control now. It’ll probably hit again this afternoon. I’m replaying the 1956 season as the Boston Red Sox, because I wanted to find out how hard it would be to manage a team whose shortstop (Don Buddin) couldn’t field, bunt, or hit in the clutch, and without one single legit pitching ace. The answer: it’s frustrating, especially when we lose to the Kansas City A’s, but I’m at least seeing what they went through, experiencing a variant of baseball history.

This is without question the most anomalous vendor relationship in my world. Forty years in.

Passing knowledge on, Baja Canada, and eating a bag of Dick’s

Now and then I take an authentic business trip, defined as travel that can without question be construed as related to my work. I am allowed to enjoy them, though, and I did this one. On Friday I headed north from Portland toward the forests south and east of Tacoma to visit a couple of my favorite clients: Shawn Inmon and Heidi Ennis.

Heidi recently released her first book, a nuanced and well-researched Native American historical fiction tale set just before 1800. I liked everything about working with her. She is a homeschool mom with a background in education, and her daughter and son are outstanding young people. Walking past the Latin declensions on the whiteboard headed toward her kitchen, I can see why. I love history, and any time children are interested in history and reading, I become a teacher on the spot. We had lunch, then spent several pleasant hours in questions and answers. Had it been feasible, I’d gladly have stayed longer.

I spent most of the weekend with Shawn, who owes his success to a combination of work ethic and willingness to market. Marketing is a problem for authors (and not a few editors, ahem). To market well, you have to be ham enough to enjoy taking the stage, and you must not be embarrassed to stand up and announce an event or a giveaway or a new release. I would have a hard time doing that because I would find it mortifying to put myself out there that way in the assumption that anyone should care. Good marketers do it without the slightest embarrassment, and if Shawn thought that the best way to market his work was to base jump naked off Columbia Tower, he’d probably do it. (I may regret giving him that idea. Well, actually, he kind of prompted it himself, though not in quite that form.)

After a very pleasant dinner out with Shawn and Dawn, we spent the rest of the evening chez Inmon talking about his current projects and some issues we must overcome. In short, there are a couple of situations in the story that we can agree need to occur, but we cannot determine how to make them flow naturally. I’m a big opponent of ‘showing the strings;’ I consider contrivance to be a bad odor, and it emanates from so much self-published fiction. We are still working this through.

The next day, Dawn had a prior commitment, but Shawn had planned for he and I to attend a Mariners game at ‘The Safe.’ That’s a good name for a stadium with a big sliding roof that can close over the top of it, which I consider an engineering marvel. The Blue Jays were in town, so I knew to expect a veritable Hoserama. Yes, the Canadians outnumbered the USians, as they had the last time I’d seen a Jays@Mariners game. (It had been a while. I had watched it in the Kingdome, which was imploded quite some years back.) I hate the company who sponsors the Ms’ field, so I will not use their name, but The Safe is a very nice place to watch a game and I’d never been there. It felt a bit like a hockey game, with the playing of both national anthems (everyone stands up for both).

Our section of Baja Canada was just in the trajectory of sharp foul balls or bat fragments from a right-handed hitter, close enough to the first base line to discern facial expressions. Most of those in royal blue were drunk but not on their lips, and behaved very well. Props to the eh-team. As we were choking away the bottom of the ninth, I got some laughs by asking if we could pull our goalie.

Afterward, Shawn wanted to take me to lunch/early dinner. We’d originally planned to visit an old Cap Hill favorite, but to our general shock it was closed up tight. As an alternative, Shawn suggested we stop at Dick’s Drive-In. Dick’s is a Seattle staple of many years, well loved by many and with a reputation as a good place to work. Shawn told me about a homeless person whom he had once seen sitting on the sidewalk near the restaurant. “He had a sign that said HELP ME FILL MY MOUTH WITH DICK’S.”

“That’s great. Did you give him any money?”

“Definitely, I gave him a buck.”

“Good man. That deserves a buck at least.”

I hadn’t been to Dick’s in some time, and it was better than I’d remembered. After inspecting the bags to find out whose Dick’s belonged to whom, we sat down to eat in companionable festivity. A lot of people hang around Dick’s, some of whom are even there to have dinner. We spent the drive back southward working on plot issues. We have not yet solved them, but it was a good brainstorming session.

Normally, of course, the client would not be taking the vendor out to such an involved event, but this will tell you a lot about Shawn’s ethical standards. He has written some stories that went into charity anthologies. I edited them, but resisted his efforts to press payment upon me (duh). This arose out of him contacting me to notify me that he was planning to include those stories in some for-profit work, and that he therefore needed to pay me. I wasn’t interested in money, though I respected his punctilious honesty about the situation. He had already invited me to come up and visit, and attend a Mariners game with him, so he proposed to pay for my ticket. That worked out to a lot more than I’d have charged for the editing, but one can hardly say no to such a kind offer, and all senses of right action were thus satisfied all around.

I came home this morning very happy to see my wife again, but with the afterglow of a fine weekend’s business travel. Thanks to all my hosts for their warm welcomes. The best part of my work is the client relationships, and this weekend was a good example of why.

Mistaken for Santa

An armpit-length beard has a way of drawing attention and comment. Some of the discussion is interesting and promotes conversation (“what motivated you to grow it?”) and some of it is high-water-pants dumb and tiresome (“how long you been growing that?”), but the choice to own this facial hair requires some patient acceptance of reactions from strangers. I have heard it described as ‘scruffy’ (that’s uncomplimentary) and ‘kingly’ (that’s pretty nice; thanks, Marcy).

The beard confers the benefit of starting me on at least neutral terms with any big shaggy/bikery/Vietnamy guy, some of whom have potential to be dangerous if offended, so I like that part. One downside is that some women, incredibly, think they can just reach in and play with it, or want to braid it and otherwise diddle around with it. Not enamored of that part. I never know what sort of reaction it’ll bring. The kids on my last baseball team immediately nicknamed me “ZZ” as well as “Badger” and “Scrap Iron,” all of which fit perfectly, except that I had to look up ZZ Top to find out why. I knew they were a Southern band, but that was it.

It wouldn’t be strange to mistake me for Santa Claus, or at least a younger version. When I describe myself to people, I usually explain that I look like Santa in his dissolute middle age. I get shoutouts from mall Santas at the holidays, and near-constant stares from wide-eyed children (whose parents should correct this discourtesy, but there’s nothing I can do…as a boy I was told to stop, and would have been spanked had I kept it up), so it’d be hard to be unaware of the resemblance. But in my baseball uniform?

Before I tore up my knee, I was an amateur baseball player with minimal talent but significant hustle and combative spirit. When my knees could take it, I loved to catch in spite of my mediocre arm to second base. I liked handling pitchers, wearing the gear, and quarterbacking the infield. I even liked catching the knuckleball, which I also threw during my rare mound appearances. Few catchers like catching the knuck. I gained great amusement watching the batter try to follow it.

One fine July Saturday afternoon in my late thirties, I had just caught a full game at Roy Johnson Field in Kennewick. If you have never done time behind the dish, you may not be aware of the filthiness involved. The mercury exceeded 100° F. Most home plate areas are full of powdery dirt called ‘moon dust,’ which clings to all moisture. Soaked with sweat, and squatting down frequently amid clouds of moon dust for nearly three hours plus batting and baserunning, I was disgusting. I always refused to wear the skullcap. The catcher’s correct gear involves wearing your regular baseball cap backward as the gods intended, and doesn’t include a helmet, so my cap was also gross from the frequent need to toss aside the mask. I wore a royal blue jersey and cap, grey pants, and beige dust which had turned to tan salty mud on the numerous sweaty spots. Each cleated shoe contained its own miniature sand dune. I didn’t need a shower; I needed hosing off.

I’d gathered up all the gear (I assume that we lost, as was our custom) and was leaving the field. My knees ached, and heavy bags of gear hung from my shoulders: one for my regular equipment, and one for the Tools of Intelligence, as the catcher’s gear ought to be called. As I walked behind the backstop toward the parking area, two pleasant-looking African American girls aged maybe seven and five blocked my path. They gazed up at me in wonder, even adoration. Kennewick has a very small black population, less than 2%*; it is 1/4 Hispanic, by comparison. If I had spent my morning coffee time imagining “stuff I expect will happen to me today,” “be adored by young African American girls in my filthy, smelly baseball uniform” would not have made the list. I assumed the kids must be related to the opposing shortstop, a good guy named Taylor who gave us fits as a fielder, hitter and baserunner. With him being the only black player present on either team, this wasn’t a reckless presumption.

I stopped, looked down and smiled. On rare occasions, little kids would ask for autographs, having no idea how insignificant we were in the grand scheme of the game. Not this time. The older girl began with “I want…” and started reciting her Christmas list.

I don’t remember what all she asked for, but most of it didn’t sound too exorbitant. The pony might have been a little over the top, but I doubt I was the first ‘Santa’ who ever fielded a girl’s request for an horse. When she finished, the younger gal took her turn.

Since I wasn’t in my ideal mental frame of mind thanks to aches, fatigue and disgustingness, I was glad it took them a while to finish telling me what they wanted. It gave me time to decide how to react. I decided to play along, with a sidelong wink at their adult relatives wearing amused smiles in the nearby third-base bleachers. When very tired (or drunk), I tend to drawl. “Okay. Well, a couple of things for ya. First of all, please make sure y’also tell your parents, because Ah’m kinda off duty and tired, and don’t have anything to write with, and my memory isn’t what it once was. Also, remember that in order to even have a chance at any of this stuff, you need to be real good for the rest of the year, and mind your parents. Especially no going cattiewhompus in the restaurant. Everyone understand?” Both nodded, still gazing up in wonder. “Good to meet you young ladies. You have a good day now,” I finished. I don’t remember the rest of their reactions, but it was probably the big moment of their day.

Nothing more came of it, though I had a chance to talk with Taylor about it a few weeks later, either before or after another game. They were his nieces. Evidently the incident had amused everyone, which gratified me because any time I’m taken by surprise and manage not to say anything dumb, I count it as a win. In hindsight, it amuses me too. Those girls must be near adult womanhood now, and I wonder how they’re doing. Well, I hope.

If they never got all the stuff on their list, I hope they forgave me.

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* Thanks to Kennewick’s deeply racist history as a sundown town, with racially restrictive covenants still technically on the books (albeit unenforceable, and in fairness, it’s unlikely anyone would try to enforce them), few black people choose to live in Kennewick. Same for nearby Richland, which was a different type of sundown town: with the whole townsite run by Westinghouse, one had to work there to live there. By hiring very few African Americans, segregation was de facto if not de jure. Most of the black population of the Tri-Cities (Richland, Kennewick, Pasco) lives in Pasco. Many older black Pasconians much dislike Kennewick to this day, and I can’t blame them.

Not that race mattered here; I just resent Kennewick’s efforts to shovel its odious past under the rug, and have made a decision to remind the city of it online every excuse I get until some official acknowledgement is forthcoming, ideally in the form of an exhibit at the East Benton County Historical Museum. Perhaps they thought me moving to Idaho would make me stop this. Nah. All that has done is put me beyond retaliation. If they can put an exhibit in the museum about the Asatru Folk Assembly’s claim that Kennewick Man (ancient bones found along the Columbia) might have been a proto-Viking, piously stating that they respect all viewpoints on the issue, they can find a photo of the sign on the old green bridge to Pasco that said something like ‘All Blacks Must Be Out By Sunset,’ and talk about those years honestly. The civic spirit of Kennewick is ‘stuff it into the closet until all the eyewitnesses die out.’ To quote Lee Corso: “Not so fast, my friend.”

By the way, any live witnesses to those sordid days are welcome to get in touch and tell me their stories, that they may be recorded. I offer you any terms of confidentiality you wish, and consideration that the memories not be pleasant to recall. If you are younger but have older relatives who remember, it would be a service to history if you could persuade them to speak with me. Memories do not last forever. You may contact me as tc_vitki at yahoo dot com.

Doubled off second on an infield fly

In my thirties and early forties, I played adult baseball. Most of the people I played with were younger than me, which made it challenging, but for the most part I had a great time. Well, except for the torn cartilage, and the ruptured achilles, and a few other bummers. There were two comebacks, sort of similar to Jim Bouton’s career. I even learned to throw a knuckleball, as did Bouton, and in my last go-round wore his #56 as well.

You can’t play very much baseball for very long without seeing some humorous situations on and off the field. There was the time Frenchy, desperate for a toilet at Bellevue CC (which didn’t even have sani-cans), climbed atop a stack of old tires and had a particularly disappointing bowel movement in them. The league almost got kicked off using BCC’s field. There was Riggs, an old fellow and a great baseball mind who looked a little bit like Burleigh Grimes, especially when his face got all red and he complained to umpires. We would all be in the dugout making the Riggs complaint face and laughing. There was the time I got my very first print credit in a book, and told my team at practice. A couple of them spat sunflower seeds or chew, and I think one muttered, “Will it help you hit a good curveball?” They didn’t care. This was a baseball dugout.

One funny story had a tragic coda, and I wouldn’t have laughed about it in the same way for years had I known. When I was on the Rattlers in my early forties, we had a kid named Andy Hyde. Andy was one of those unpredictable loose cannons, and was not especially popular. He had a way of saying things that stung, making petty complaints, ignoring direction. He once tailgated me most of the way home on his motorcycle, so close that I had to resist the temptation to tap the brakes. One time I was watching July 4 fireworks with our catcher, Josh Langlois, and some of his friends. As we were walking back, we saw someone on a motorcycle being arrested. It was Andy; for what offense, I never learned.

Andy resisted base coaching. I don’t mean that he listened, then did something else. I mean that he yelled at you to shut up, complaining that he couldn’t run the bases and listen to a base coach at the same time. Well, in baseball, you kind of have to accept some coaching. Now, in case you aren’t familiar with the rule, in baseball there’s an infield fly rule. If there are less than two out with a force play at third base, and the batter pops up a fair ball in the infield, an umpire bellows: “Infield fly! Batter’s out!” It doesn’t matter whether anyone catches the ball; the batter is out. No runners are forced. If someone does catch the ball, however, the runners may tag up and advance at their peril, just as with any caught fly ball. (If they let it drop, the runners don’t have to tag up.)

One day I was coaching third base, with someone on first and Andy on second. Thus, if our batter popped up in the infield, this rule would apply. In such a case, the runners should hold if a fielder even looks like he might catch the ball. Sure enough, our hitter popped one up to second. The umpire called the infield fly rule–but Andy had taken off for third base on contact. He got 3/4 of the way to third base before finally paying attention to my very colorful exhortations to return to second. While a speedy base runner, not even most major leaguers could have come that far and then gotten back to second in time. Their second baseman made the catch, flipped it to the shortstop covering second base. Andy was out by at least five feet. Double play! It was one of the dumbest plays I’d ever seen. Perhaps the very dumbest.

Andy didn’t stay with the Rattlers that long, and we didn’t hear much about him after that. A few years later, our self-adopted daughter called with some very sad news. Not too far from her home in Burbank, late at night, Andy had driven his car up to a fenced transformer. He’d scaled the fence, climbed over the inclined barbed wire at the top, walked over and grabbed the transformer. As I recall, she wasn’t the one who had found him, and gods be thanked for that. There was no other plausible explanation except suicide.

I hadn’t really considered Andy a friend, but I felt someone from the league should be at his funeral. I wore my jersey. I learned that he had been a star athlete in school, but had battled mental problems in young adulthood. He heard voices, did erratic things, perceived dangers that didn’t actually exist. He had gone into the Navy, and it had worsened his condition to the point where they discharged him. For years he had struggled to see the world with basic clarity, hold some form of employment, and avoid letting his demons lead him into trouble. As for whether he climbed into the transformer intent on suicide, or simply perceived it as something other than thousands of volts of live current, that we can’t ever know. We didn’t know the world his mind knew. His family grieved him, though years of trying to help him had worn on them. He had been just functional enough to get himself into serious predicaments, without the clarity to extricate himself. Nice family, compassionate people; one could not watch and hear them without feeling some of their pain.

In a way, it’s still funny, simply because of the preternatural dumbness of getting doubled up on a play where all one has to do is stay put. But it’s more unfunny than funny, because now I know why he couldn’t listen to base coaches. They were just more voices adding to his clamor. He lived in a world of pain and fear and confusion, one none of us could see.

I guess sometimes we only later come to grasp the rest of the story. What it has meant to me, I guess, is that I should generally try to hold a part of my judgment back. There may be another 2/3 of the story I never knew.