Fortunately, no one did. When the plumbers came recently to address our water pressure issues, I asked them about drain cleaner. They don’t recommend Drano (what plumber ever does?), but instead, an environmentally friendly cleaner (what environmentally friendly cleaner ever works?). Because I was not getting anywhere with my toxic chemical soups full of sodium hydroxide, I was willing to explore a new option.
This stuff looks a lot like coarse goldenseal powder, costs about $55 a can, can lasts about a year. It is insoluble in water, so the water you mix with it basically is there to wash it down the drain. Its enzymes, which are all -ases of some sort, are supposed to eat hair, slime, anything of biological origin, yet be safe on skin and even if you ate it. I think not. You have to treat all your drains with it, then not mess with the water system for about eight hours. I have been doing this before I go to bed, and am supposed to do it for five days. Four down, one to go.
Of course, you may imagine the visual effect. I’m not supposed to wash the stuff down the drain after dumping it in, so it looks like our drains have been the target of the Kennewick Serial Vomiter. Kind of reminds me of 5th Floor McCarty Hall men’s room at the UW on a Friday night. I know (at least, I tell myself, and hope) that this is beneficial in the long term, once the -ases finish chowing on all the disgusting things slowing down our drains.
In the short term, though, it looks like we got attacked by a rogue drain puker. Good thing I did this when Deb was out of town–her commentary would wither my spirit and blister the paint.