Most people realize that some games are rated ‘mature’ for a reason. For those who don’t, and figure it’s fine if their kids play Grand Theft Auto series games, you will have to educate them thus:
- “You a mock-ass buster fool” is an unacceptable substitute for “I disagree, Dad.”
- They should not refer to a water pistol as their ‘strap.’
- No matter how hard they try, they will not be able to bunny-hop their bikes over houses.
- “Are you dissing my ho’?” is an unsuitable way to ask others to respect one’s girlfriend or sister.
- Putting Ammu-Nation gift cards on their Santa Christmas list is futile.
- Very, very few stunt jumps can be done on a Big Wheel, and most will not end well.
- Why you pull over when a fire truck passes, rather than shoot out its right rear tire and follow it around to watch the crazy maneuvering.
- Just because your family sees an Army tank does not mean you now have a Wanted Level of 6 stars.
- Sex does not consist of two motionless people in the front seats of a car, facing forward and not touching, magically causing the car to rock.
- They cannot escape ‘time out’ or grounding by finding a yellow star police bribe.
- It really would not be amusing to park a trash truck across a busy freeway and watch the fun.
- Red lights are not just for other people.
- Most of the world doesn’t leave its keys in the car at all times.
- We didn’t actually go to war with Australia.
- Community colleges will not award them an AA in Pay-N-Spray.
- They cannot become fireproof by stealing a fire truck and hosing down flaming cars and/or people.
- Most of the social comment in the game’s radio stations is a fair depiction of the nation they will inherit.