If you’re on Facepalm, you’ve seen them:  profile posts pressuring you to change your status to something.  And yes, it is pressure, often coupled with a guilt trip.  To gather these, I had to go unhide a whole bunch of people who have done them so often I finally just tuned them out:

Put this dog on
.//^ ^\\ your status
(/(_•_)\) to show
._/”*”\_ that you are
(,,,)^(,,,) Against Animal Cruelty

If I don’t, does that mean I’m for animal cruelty?

Who says Facebook friends aren’t real friends? They enjoy seeing you on line everyday, miss you when you aren’t, send condolences if you’ve lost someone, give you wishes on your Birthday, enjoy the photos & videos you post, put a smile on your face when you’re down, make you laugh when you feel like crying. Re-post if you love your Facebook friends. ?

And if I don’t, does that mean I don’t care for them?

Tell me if this makes any sense. I’m still scratching my head at this one. Homeless go without eating. Elderly go without needed medicines. Mentally ill go without treatment. Troops go without proper equipment. Veterans go without benefits they were promised. Yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our… own first. Have the guts to re-post this. 1% will re-post and 99% won’t

So if I don’t accept your premise and parrot what you say, I’m gutless?

Doesn’t make sense, does it? Homeless in the US go without eating. Elderly in the US go without needed medicines. Mentally ill in the US go without treatment. American troops go without proper equipment. American veterans go without benefits that were promised. Yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our own first. 1% will re-post and 99% won’t. Have the guts to re-post this. I KNOW I’M IN THE 1%

For this one, evidently, I’m gutless again, plus unkind to our needy?

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! MY GENERATION GREW UP RECITING THIS EVERY MORNING IN SCHOOL WITH MY HAND ON MY HEART WITH RESPECT. THEY NO LONGER DO THAT FOR FEAR OF OFFENDING SOMEONE! LET’S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL RE-POST THIS & NOT CARE ABOUT OFFENDING SOMEONE

So if I don’t make a mindless repetition in ALL CAPS, it’s because I’m afraid of offending someone?

Very sadly, most of you probably won’t copy and paste this. Will you do it and leave it on your status for at least an hour??? It’s Special Education week, and this is in HONOR of all the children who need a little extra help, patience & understanding. Proudly, I will! …Thanks!! ….’Here’s to all the kids who need just a little bit…… more

This one switched message a bit, leading with the guilt trip.  So now I don’t like learning-disabled kids?

Now you see why I just block anyone who does too much of this.  Maybe some people can be insulted into making a show for others, but the idea has no appeal for me.

Especially since so many of the pasted paras really, really need proofreading and editing. And I don’t see anyone offering to pay me to do that.